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I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing

September 10, 2011

“Reach for the sky. Plan for an ideal life!”

In the end of everything, you may doubt, “I guess I had missed a lot of things in my life.”

Our world is not perfect, as many would say. They tell us to be ready for any errors that may come our way of living this life somehow perfect. In other words, we must get armed for a big fight that is famously called, man’s struggle for survival, since all things in life are in “limited edition”. No one is exempted. All are bound to face this sad reality, and so, as I thought of a bucket list, I thought of the title of Aerosmith’s song for Armageddon, I Dont Want To Miss A Thing. I based my list on the things I had missed before, and on the things I’ll possibly be missing in the future.

I started with what I had missed.

The replay button was hit, and it went back 7 years ago when I stole a very valuable gadget from my classmate. There I was, missing the point of what’s the right thing. I was really out of control during that day. My envy had won me over my spiritual sense that basically, stealing is a bad thing. On that moment when I was wholly tempted, I only thought of what my other friends would think about me having a very new, red Game Boy SP. The feeling had neutralized my conscience. I automatically reached from his bag when he was not on his table, and got his Game Boy, not thinking any more of the risks behind those sinister actions. What happened after that was after a year, he didn’t stopped investigating on who or what might be the cause of the loss of his gadget. Eventually, he caught me playing with it. I began to panicked during that time. I was forced then to enter the most terror room of schools to date, the Principal’s Office. I found myself confessing to the “authorities” involved that I was indeed guilty. Back during the moments when my parents knew what happened and became very dissapointed of me, I promised myself not to steal again: one thing I wrote here on my bucket list.

Talking about my childhood years, I was really into gaming. I totally loved playing almost all sorts of games that was hip during those times. I remembered I played Ragnarok, MU Online, Vice City Stories, Pokemon, Digimon, etc. I was really fond of playing that I didn’t realized  I became addicted on doing it. Gaming had covered always majority of my free time. Instead of resting or studying, I prefered playing with my classmates. One day, I realized I was missing the point of setting proper priorities for my life. Somehow when I processed its negative effects on me, I found out it had gradually affected my eyesight, and so I had to have glasses for my damaged eyes. The thing had forced me to balance my gaming periods and my study and resting periods. I promised myself not to play excessively ever again: one thing I wrote here on my bucket list.

Too much regret was felt as I looked back on the things I had missed in the past, but I had already moved on. I looked again, and I saw an upcoming future that is yet to come for me. I wondered on the things I’ll be probably missing.

The forward button was hit, and it went a bit 5 years later after I had graduated college. I bet at that time, I still haven’t got any sure decision of pursuing a Masteral’s Degree in B.S. Physics, nor whether pursuing a field on Medicine. It’s my sickness ever since: being very undecisive on matters concerning my career. I guess in 2016, that will probably be still the same problem for me. I guess what I’ll be missing is again, the importance of settling on something excellent and being decisive. As I thought of such case, I wrote on my bucket list, “Neilmar, you need to acquire the ability to see the good things and settle on making them happen for your life.”

As I conclude everything before I die, I realized all I wanted is to have the best features of an ideal personality, an “extraordinary” person can have. As much as possible, I wanted to sound and look great in front of people not because of what I have, but because of what I am. In the future, I still want to be helpful to others. I still want to be a good example of a servant-leader who serves and leads a life of holiness and enlightenment. I still want to be the guy next door who always puts a smile on every people’s face. I still want to be a good influence for my fellow men and women all over the world. That’s what I wanted to be. That’s my bucket list. I guess my last note there goes, “Neilmar, you must not miss a thing!”

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